Beware Before It Is Too Late: William Wilberforce on Parenting
By David John Seel Jr., PhD
Parenting and education have an important thing in common: they involve soul work. They both must be seen as spiritual formation. Many think that spiritual formation is a specifically Christian activity. It is not. As essentially spiritual beings, all hearts are in the process of being formed--either toward Jesus or toward someone else. It is not a "Christian" process but a human process. Dallas Willard writes, "Terrorists as well as saints are the outcome of spiritual formation. Their spirits or hearts have been formed." Everyone--parents and children, believers and nonbelievers--live their lives based on what they treasure. Everyone trusts something or someone for an explanation about how to live life. Everyone chooses someone to follow who models and reinforces what they have chosen to love and trust. It is naïve to think that parenting or education is spiritually neutral. Together, parenting and education orient a child's heart direction, form a child's character, and over time influence a child's spiritual destiny.
Our children's beliefs are revealed in their behavior. Here is the challenge. Behaviors can be coerced; beliefs cannot. Coerced behavior cannot touch our children's core beliefs. We all remember the old adage "Little Johnny may be sitting down, but he is standing up inside!" It is the core beliefs that must be nurtured. They need to be taught, demonstrated, and defended. They are not automatically inherited or accepted without reflection. Children will eventually take ownership of their beliefs and make them their own. To help ground a child in his or her beliefs requires a trusting relationship, age-appropriate explanations, positive examples, and an honest examination of alternatives. This is the role of the traditional parent as well as the traditional teacher. Homeschooling allows one to blend these two tasks. William Wilberforce argues that it is crucially important to make sure that parenting and education point in the same direction.
Wilberforce is the Christian parliamentarian who led the fight against the slave trade in England at the end of the 18th century. His life is the subject of an upcoming film, Amazing Grace, to be released in February by Walden Media. Many Christians know about his work to stop the slave trade and of his close friendship with the slave-trader-turned-preacher John Newton. Few are equally aware of Wilberforce's counsel to parents.
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Toward the end of his fruitful life of service, Wilberforce was asked by a young friend to pen his insights into what is required of a faithful follower of Christ. Wilberforce was troubled by the casual adherence to Christianity that he saw among many Christians in his day, particularly in the middle and upper classes. His mature reflections on the Christian life are found in his book Real Christianity. The full title of the book, first published in 1829, was A Practical View of the Prevailing Religious System of Professed Christians, in the Higher and Middle Classes in this Country, Contrasted with Real Christianity. John Newton, the author of the hymn "Amazing Grace," exclaimed of Wilberforce's book, "Such a book, by such a man, and at such a time!"
Wilberforce observed that professing Christians often invest in their children everything except the first things of the gospel. When their children become teens and begin to have the freedom to reveal their hearts' orientation--often formed by years of pop culture, secular education, and peer reliance--these parents look at their children and wonder what went wrong. Wilberforce writes,
In an age in which infidelity abounds, do we observe them carefully instructing their children in the principles of faith which they profess? Or do they furnish their children with arguments for the defense of that faith?
They would blush on their child's birth to think him inadequate in any branch of knowledge or any skill pertaining to his station in life. He cultivates these skills with becoming diligence. But he is left to collect his religion as he may. The study of Christianity has formed no part of his education. His attachment to it-where any attachment to it exists at all-is too often not the preference of sober reason and conviction. Instead, his attachment to Christianity is merely the result of early and groundless prepossession. He was born in a Christian country, so of course he is a Christian. His father was a member of the Church of England, so that is why he is, too.
When religion is handed down among us by hereditary succession, it is not surprising to find youth of sense and spirit beginning to question the truth of the system in which they were brought up. And it is not surprising to see them abandon a position, which they are unable to defend. Knowing Christianity chiefly by its difficulties and the impossibilities falsely imputed to it, they fall perhaps into the company of unbelievers.
Let us therefore beware before it is too late. Let us beware that, in schools and colleges, Christianity is almost-if not altogether-neglected. We cannot expect those who pay so little regard to this great object of education of their children to be more attentive to it in other parts of their children's conduct. If they have little regard for the state of Christianity, they will be still more indifferent about communicating the light of divine truth to the nations which "still sit in darkness."
Our world is in desperate need of a new generation of Wilberforce-like Christians. More than ever, we need a generation of young men and women who are passionate about Jesus, committed to making a difference in their generation, and willing to prepare for the intellectual and spiritual battles this will inevitably entail. We need young adults prepared to be "Special Forces" in kingdom service. We need parents who demonstrate godliness and who train their children to be Christ-inspired, Christ-empowered, and Christ-directed agents of cultural change. This is the prayer and promise of homeschooling in our time.
John Seel is a cultural analyst, educator, and writer. He is the author of Parenting Without Perfection: Being a Kingdom Influence in a Toxic World (NavPress) and Contributing Editor of Critique. Raised in South Korea, he was homeschooled by missionary moms using the Calvert curriculum. He and his wife, Kathryn, are now grandparents living in Cohasset, Massachusetts.
From the Editor
Have you ever done something you really regretted later? Have you ever said something to someone without praying first and the end result was not what you intended? Maybe you made a curriculum choice that didn't work out because you didn't seek counsel from God and your spouse. What about asking a fellow friend or homeschooler their opinion first, rather than seeking God's opinion first. Have you ever considered the outcome of NOT inquiring of the Lord? The Bible records a story of just this sort of thing. In 2 Samuel we read the account of David having the Ark of the Covenant moved. In many other Scripture passages, we read that David inquired of the Lord before he did something, but we don't read that in this story. A man's death was the outcome.
Saul is another example. He sought wisdom from a medium instead of God, and his entire kingdom was later turned over to another man. Inquiring of the Lord may seem a little matter to you, but the proof is in the outcome. We must inquire of the Lord, or our efforts will surely be disastrous or in vain.
"So Saul died for his unfaithfulness which he had committed against the Lord, because he did not keep the word of the Lord, and also because he consulted a medium for guidance. But he did not inquire of the Lord; therefore He killed him, and turned the kingdom over to David the son of Jesse." 1 Chronicles 10:13,14
The book of Psalms tells us the one thing that is needful: to dwell in communion with the Lord, looking to and inquiring of Him. He wants a relationship with us. He desires us to come to Him with all that we are thinking. This alone brings peace, wisdom, and a sure foundation for any decision we need to make. May we all remember to inquire of the Lord before moving forward in whatever we are considering.
"One thing I have desired of the Lord, That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple." Psalm 27:4
Editor's Journal (a random page from my journal over the years)
What I Have Learned From My Teacher
The children and I visit a convalescent home once a month and participate in a Bible study, though not because there is anything extra spiritual in us or in going. For instance, today I woke up and had half an hour to get five reluctant children fed, dressed, and out the door--nearly impossible and a totally unspiritual beginning. But as we drove, I turned on some praise music in order to get our hearts prepared. Even that had its limitations, as I kept hearing, "Mom, may I have another bagel? How many did so and so get?" Eating breakfast (if you could call it that) in the van is definitely unspiritual. But I was soon to learn that even unspiritual beginnings can lead to beautiful endings.
What I Have Learned From My Children
When we arrived, we found out that they had changed the time of the Bible study and we were an hour early! A staff person brought out some balls and bubbles for my children to play with as we waited. The kids entertained a whole group of residents who all loved to watch children play. One son visited with a lady named Madeline who kept asking him his name. He would say, "My name is Christopher." Then she would say, "I have a brother named Christopher! What is your name?" He would say, "Christopher", and she would say, "I have a brother named Christopher!" Every now and then she would say, "You are a wonderful boy. I would like to get your name and address and send you a card."
Another son was playing catch with a little lady who was enjoying the game immensely. Her smile and laughter were contagious. It probably took her back quite a number of years.
My daughter met a lady named Audrey who seemed to not be able to communicate, but she was holding an obviously much-loved stuffed dog. So I asked her, "Did you have any animals when you were growing up?" Her eyes grew misty as she said, "I had a dog named Jeb who I used to sit with in the back of the buggy." I was so amazed that this puppy of hers could open up her heart enough so that she could produce intelligible words. I talked to her about her time with her dog, but she never spoke again. She had some wounds on her hands that weren't healing, so we prayed with her for God's healing touch.
A man named Johnny lit up when he saw my baby on my hip and started to sing, "If I had a nickel or I had a dime, this is what I'd do. I'd buy a lot of candy and give it all to you. This is what I'd do because I love you, I love you." Over and over he sang as the baby bounced and smiled back at him
When the Bible study began, Madeline picked up my 4-year-old and held him on her lap. It was quite a scene getting him in between all the bars that encompass her in her chair. But she looked like she was in heaven with him there, and she just held him close and put his cheek to hers.
Diana was one of the younger residents and also one of the loudest. She sang at the top of her voice whether she knew the words or not. Her enthusiasm and sincerity rubbed off as I was sitting right next to her. I am normally pretty quiet when I sing, but I began to sing fervently louder as we shared a smile between us.
We soon found out that the lady who played the piano for us was turning 90 that week, so my son played "Happy Birthday" on the piano for her. She then made a little speech about heaven being closer the older you become and how thankful we can be for good health and the ability to think clearly, that death will be the most glorious experience of our lives here if we really know Jesus. I sat there and took it all in. I learned so much about life and death in a few short hours.
We went with the purpose of showing some lonely folks the love of God, but we were shown so much and were reminded that our life here is short no matter how long we live. We learned that we need to make time for the most important things: to love God and to love others. Nothing else really matters for eternity. And eternity will be here sooner than we know.
Deborah Wuehler is the Devotional e-Newsletter editor and Devotional editor for The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine. She lives in Roseville, California, with her husband, Richard, and their seven gifts from heaven, whom they have homeschooled from birth. E-mail Deborah
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From Our Readers: Salvation at the Breakfast Table
By Grace Schumacher, Wasilla, AK
My children are 4 and 5. My older son was still admiring his new Bible when it was breakfast time. Ordinarily it's a "no-no" to bring toys or books to the table. But when he asked, I said it was all right. Then I asked if they wanted to play "Restaurant," which is a game in which they pretend to be customers and I pretend to be the waitress. I handed them each a "menu"-- usually a piece of junk mail or anything I have readily available. Then I tell them what the special of the day is. (Actually, the special of the day is the only option they have.)
I pretended to act surprised when I noticed the Bible, and I sounded out the B-I-B-L-E really slowly. I asked my "customers" if they were followers of Jesus since they had a Bible. They said they were. I told them I didn't really understand what the Bible said and why Jesus was so important. I was surprised when my children couldn't give me a sufficient answer, but I didn't let on. I just kept asking questions, "Well, why did Jesus have to come to Earth as a baby?" "Oh, but why did he have to die?" "Where is Jesus now?" "What do I have to do to go to heaven?" (My younger child told me I have to "get dead first.") I helped them through each answer, and we read Scripture verses together from the new Bible.
By the time breakfast was over, my children had a much better understanding of how Jesus took our punishment and made a way for us to be with him in heaven. They understood that they had to personally repent of their sin and confess with their little lips that Jesus is Lord, which is exactly what my older child did at the breakfast table that day, to the glory of God.
I'm so glad to be home with my children and not be rushing around getting ready to leave the house for school and work--not too busy for the most important moments like these.
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Nesting Instinct
By Michele Howe
Lisa was slumping over her sink of dishes after breakfast that sunny Saturday morning--not because she was feeling down, but rather because she was too tall for her custom-made countertops. Switching from one foot to another, Lisa unconsciously compensated for any discrepancy between her height and that of miniscule cabinetry designed for her now deceased, shorter-than-average grandmother. When Lisa first moved into the old homestead and started working around the house, she noticed her back ached... unusual. She felt stiffness in her neck as well after she'd used her grandmother's handmade wooden ironing board. After one long afternoon in the kitchen, Lisa finally realized what the problem was. Her grandmother hadn't topped four feet eleven inches, and her grandfather had pared everything down in height for her grandmother's comfort. So much for my aching back, Lisa had chuckled appreciatively.
Often Lisa didn't know whether to laugh or cry when her body unapologetically reminded her that it didn't fit well in this house. But on this particular weekend morning, Lisa was thankful she'd sold her duplex and moved back to her hometown; for right outside the window grew a purple-leaf plum tree, which now partially obscured her view of her favorite, albeit short-blossoming, lilac bush. As Lisa scrubbed and scoured a pan that had been soaking from her son's caramel brownie baking escapade, she took a break and leaned over the sink and inhaled the lilac's fragrance that wafted inside. Mmmm . . . wonderful. The scent brought back memories of years past when as a young girl she had stood in this very spot, helping with Sunday meal dishes along with her grandmother, mother, and brother. What fun they'd made of kitchen work! And the stories her grandmother would tell--some comical, some dead serious--but every one rich with meaning and meant to be turned over and again in one's mind. Sighing, Lisa was suddenly overcome with gratefulness that she was given the opportunity to live and love in the same house where she'd spent so many treasured hours, occasional backaches notwithstanding.
"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in His triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing." 2 Corinthians 2:14, 15
Dear Lord,
My heart is full to overflowing with gratitude for all that you've given me. I have no lack of gain . . . at least at this moment it seems so to me. I am continually reminded of the bounty from which you've bestowed on me and on those I love. Even the memories of years past bring comfort and consolation to me. Thank you for my childhood, Lord. Thank you for the memories of loving, giving, and loyalty that I draw upon even today. I do look back and remember what I've been taught. How precious is my legacy.
Yet my prayer on this day is one of entreaty. I ask that you would continue to gently nudge me along your path of righteousness. Let not complacency--or even contentment--hinder me from pressing beyond my own comfort to lend a hand of service to those in need. Temper my heart and mind to see past hindrances that may block my ability to serve in your name. I pray that my strongest desire will be to know and love you, Lord. And as I join together in blessed communion with you, may I be rejuvenated and eager to extend your love all around. Consistently, day in and day out, let the words that I utter be pleasing in your sight. Let the work that I seek be honoring to you as well. Lord, I commit my life again into your care and keeping, trusting that you will stay near to my heart... always gently nudging me along the path you desire me to take. Amen.
"We may appear to be adults, even executives to those who don't know us, but to God we are children always in need of help and strength. We are his children. Love, protection, and abundance will always exist." --Calvin Miller in Jesus Loves Me
Michele Howe writes a women's lifestyle column, "Embracing Life's Curves," which is offered through the Syndicated Writers of America at www.buystory.com. Michele is a reviewer for Publishers Weekly, Aspiring Retail, FaithfulReader.com, and TeenReads.com. She has published over 900 articles/reviews and is the author of eight books including Prayers for Homeschool Moms, Prayers for New and Expecting Moms, Prayers of Comfort and Strength, Prayers to Nourish a Woman's Heart, and Going It Alone: Meeting the Challenges of Being a Single Mom.
This Month's Contests!
- Peacemaking for Families
- Sewing Machine Fun for Kids
- Big Truths for Little Kids
See our Product Review section below to read about the above products and then enter to win one of these great resources!
TO ENTER: Send an email to Devotions@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com with your name and mailing address for a chance to win one of these gifts.
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The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, LLC ("Company") is sponsoring the Peacemaking for Families, Sewing Machine Fun for Kids, and Big Truths for Little Kids Contests, running from November 8, 2006, to November 30, 2006. You must be 18 years of age or older and follow all rules to participate. Entering the contest constitutes full and complete acceptance of, and a warranty that the entrant has read, understands and agrees to, all contest terms and conditions, including without limitation all of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, LLC Contest Rules ("Official Rules") at www.thehomeschoolmagazine.com/Resources/Contests.php and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine Writer Guidelines and Terms and Conditions for Submitting Queries, online at www.thehomeschoolmagazine.com/writersguidelines.php. All Official Rules apply. Entry also constitutes full consent and unlimited permission for Company to print, publish, broadcast and use all intellectual property and personal information submitted as part of the Contest entry on the Internet and in any and all Company publications in accordance with the Rules. Entries become the sole property of Company and will not be returned. Employees and independent contractors of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, LLC, Contest sponsors, individuals or entities furnishing Contest prizes and their family members may not participate in this contest. Company reserves the sole, discretionary right to determine contest winners and to cancel, terminate, modify, or suspend the contest or the Rules at any time with or without notice or cause, subject to applicable law.
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Product Review
Peacemaking for Families By Ken Sande with Tom Raabe
Tyndale House
www.hispeace.org
Wheaton, IL
As parents we are to give our children the tools they need to be productive adults. This includes how to handle conflicts in a biblical manner. Because our children are home all day, we have more opportunities for family conflict and thus more opportunities to teach the proper ways to resolve them.
Peacemaking for Families gives you the tools to solve conflicts in your family, whether they are between you and your spouse, you and your children, or between siblings. The book explains the seven A's of confession, four promises of forgiveness, how to listen, how to negotiate, what to do when the other party is in denial, when to get outside help, and much more. It has special sections on dealing with children and with your spouse.
Peacemaking for Families will make a difference in how my family handles disagreements. I also plan on purchasing their curriculum especially for children, called The Young Peacemaker, which has a teacher's manual and a set of workbooks for children to complete.
Product review by:
Dawn King, Product Reviewer, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, LLC, November 2006
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Big Truths for Little Kids By Susan Hunt and Richie Hunt
Timberdoodle
www.timberdoodle.com
Big Truths for Little Kids is a doctrinally sound tool for teaching our children to live for God. This story format is easy to use and easy for even our littlest children to understand. This hardcover book has 36 lessons (160 pages), each with a story, questions, and memorization. Reading and re-reading the stories will reinforce biblical principles, and the "Let's Pray" section is designed to teach children to pray biblically. Memorization of catechism and bible verses is encouraged.
The stories follow Caleb and Cassie as they encounter life's lessons, learn how to put them into a biblical perspective, and apply biblical principles. These excellent stories spark wonderful conversations with our children and guarantee a very special story time! Most importantly, these stories encourage our children to live for God every day! I highly recommended this book!
Product review by:
Lisa Barthuly and Family, Product Reviewers, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, LLC, November 2006
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The Best of Sewing Machine Fun for Kids By Nancy Smith and Lynda Milligan
Timberdoodle
www.timberdoodle.com
Do you have a child wanting to learn to sew? The Best of Sewing Machine Fun for Kids is a comprehensive, 128-page volume of simple, basic, fun sewing lessons for children.
The instructions are easy to follow, and the diagrams are simple. Complete and thorough lessons--from the basics of the sewing machine to proper operation of the sewing machine, how to thread the machine, stitching, and basic sewing techniques. Once the child has the operating procedures of the machine down, this book provides many projects for trying out those newly acquired skills.
Projects include adorable brown paper ornaments, cards, a pillow, fabric book covers, hair "bunchies," fabric lunch bags, small purses, and more.
This guide will give a beginning seamstress the nuts and bolts of sewing on a machine. There are even crossword puzzles, dot-to-dots, vocabulary exercises, and word finds--all geared at helping your child learn the basics of sewing and its terminology.
This book has reinforced many of the basic sewing machine basic skills we are currently working on in our family. The puzzles were a big hit. Skills taught include basic sewing, tracing, cutting and measuring of patterns, sewing machine safety, and basic stitchery. It's a nice tool to assist in teaching the basics!
Product review by:
Lisa Barthuly and Family, Product Reviewers, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, LLC, November 2006
Haptoon: Forrest Gump Cracks the Da Vinci Code
If Jesus asked us today, "Who do people say the Son of Man is?" we could reply, "There is this movie out that declares you were just a man who married, had children, and died. The early church made up a lie that you rose from the dead and that you are the Eternal God." This is the "truth" that is being communicated in "The Da Vinci Code."
But an even more important question Jesus is asking us is, "Who do you say I am?" As He did to Peter, God has revealed to us the Living Truth, and we must be faithful witnesses and continue to proclaim the Good News (1Cor. 15:1-11, John 3:16).
The world will continue to offer counterfeit truth coated with chocolate, but let us continue to feast upon the sweet words of God's Truth, the Rock of our salvation (Ps. 119:103). --Hap
Interested in more Haptoons? Email to purchase your own mini book of cartoons here: haptoon@juno.com or visit the website here: http://www21.brinkster.com/haptoon/
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Testimonials
I have really enjoyed reading your devotional section. I am touched and smile when I read it. Thank you very much for this special gift. --Mary
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Thank you for spending time with us here at The Old Schoolhouse® Devotional e-Newsletter! We pack into every issue as much practical homeschooling help and godly encouragement as we possibly can and send it out once a month via email. As your e-Newsletter Editor, I have listened to your recommendations, and I think we have come up with a pretty good end product here!
If there is anything you'd like to see added or changed, or if you have a question about homeschooling-just email us and let us know what we can do for you! Here's the address: devotions@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com. Don't forget to check out our website and magazine. Until next month, happy homeschooling from Deborah Wuehler and all the TOS Staff!
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