From the Editor: Fanning the Homeschool Flame
This is the time of year that you begin to see articles and advice about beating homeschool burnout. For our family, the last couple of years have clicked along with only minor problems in our education program, even in spite of some difficult family circumstances. For some reason, this year is different. It seems schooling has been hard this year from the very start. Nothing seems to be going as planned, and I feel week after week like I'm failing to meet my goals and I'm messing up my kids. To make matters worse, as a single parent, my cheerleaders aren't always around to see when I'm getting discouraged.
I am learning this year that in these moments of discouragement, I have to go back to the reasons I am homeschooling. I have to call on the network of friends God has given me to support my efforts to homeschool. Most of all, I have to fall into the arms of my Beloved and remember His sovereignty and grace so I can face one more day. This month's issue is written to help those parents who are trying to remember why they are doing all of this. Your reasons may be different than mine. Some may be the same. But I hope that as I discuss why I do this crazy thing of homeschooling as a single parent, God will bring to mind the reasons He has called you to do the same.
In Joel, God promises Israel, "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten... You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the LORD your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed. Then you will know that I am in Israel, I am the LORD your God, that there is no other" (Joel 2:25-27, NIV). For those of you struggling this year like me, take heart! As we obey God's call to homeschool our children, He will bless our efforts, even if we can't see how at this present time.
Many Blessings...
Lisa A. Baker
Single Parent e-Newsletter Editor
SingleParent@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com
Nuts and Bolts: Practical Ways to Battle Burnout
By Lisa A. Baker
- Include God every day.
The number one reason I start to feel overwhelmed is that I've repeatedly begun to leave God out of my day. I absolutely cannot do this on my own, and when I insist on trying to carry it alone, I become exhausted. Sacrifice something else in your lesson plans so you have time with God. Oddly enough, you will get more of your plans done this way.
- Develop a list of goals for your children's education.
If you don't write it down, you can't ever see where you're going or where you've been. My list ended up being more character and spiritual than simply intellectual, so I feel more confident even when the academics don't seem to be progressing the way I would like them to.
- Take time to plan.
It can be as simple or as complex as you wish, but be sure it is manageable for you. Nobody likes planning if the plan overwhelms them. And a plan that can't actually be accomplished is useless.
- Develop a support network.
This can include other single parent families, as well as families who don't homeschool, but are supportive of families that do. Developing these relationships must be done intentionally, and takes time being together and developing a heart for each other. It requires give and take, being available, being vulnerable and sharing your needs, and looking for needs to meet. If you're not sure who to include in your network, pray about it. God never intended us to go it alone. Interdependence is His very intent in giving us the church.
- Ask for help.
This is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of good management. Look for those who have strengths where you are weak. If necessary, make a trade. Don't forget to look in your own family. You might just find the accountant or the organizer you need right under your nose!
- Take time to relax the pace.
Plan days off. Allow time in your schedule to be spontaneous. Look for ways to make learning fun. Not everything has to be fun, but figure out how your family enjoys learning and include it in your plan. Everybody needs some margin in their lives.
- Give the kids more responsibility.
This is sometimes hard for a single parent to do, because we don't like seeing our kids thrust into roles that we didn't intend for them. But God knew what He was doing when He put our children into families that would require more of them. My older boys complete most of their work from an assignment sheet on their own. I am also learning to give them more household responsibility. I have discovered that even when they don't load the dishwasher or sweep the floor to my standards, it is easier for me to overlook it or touch it up when the bulk of the work is done.
- Look over what you've really accomplished.
Most of the time when I feel burned out, it is because I'm looking at too short a stretch of time. Even when a few months can fail to show progress, looking at the many years I've homeschooled can show me the contrast of what I am actually accomplishing. Even if you've just started homeschooling, you can look at the decision to start and see progress.
- Focus on God's sovereignty.
Remember that even on the day you have failed to follow your plan, His has been followed to the letter. Our kids really belong to Him, and He will teach them and provide them with the things we can't. And who knows? Maybe the things they are learning from our weaknesses and failures are the very things He is trying to teach them!
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Apples for the Teacher: Our Focus in the Midst of Doubt
By Lisa A. Baker
Every now and then I have a bad day. I can handle bad days, but when they come in a succession of many, it begins to feel overwhelming. I look around and it seems my house is falling apart before my eyes. I walk through the halls of the private school at the church and see all the wonderful art projects the kids have done, and remember how this week . . . well, we got math done. Or I look up as I talk to my pastor to see my kids racing around the church sanctuary, nearly missing the choir monitor and an older couple hobbling out the door. Occasional doubt is something I am used to, but when the feeling that I'm overloaded is prolonged, doubt can take its toll. Once again I'm asking myself why I am homeschooling. Why did I start this in the first place? What do I hope to accomplish? Am I even moving toward those goals?
This is exactly the time that I go back to my purpose, or at least what I can see of it. The first reason, and the one of greatest importance to me, is that I homeschool because God has called me to do it. Early in my journey as a single mom, I wondered how I would be able to continue homeschooling. But God impressed upon my heart that what He calls us to do He enables, so I told Him I would continue homeschooling as long as He provided for us to do it. Here I am, five years later, and He has provided in different ways every year. That is one of the biggest indicators to me that He wants me to continue. I homeschool because of commands I see in Scripture, and because I believe that for our family, homeschooling is the best way to obey these commands. Finally, I remember that God has a purpose beyond what I can see. All of my purposes are the tip of the iceberg compared to what He is doing. I long to see my homeschooling effort glorify God, because as I do this impossible thing, and do it successfully, I can give Him the credit. After all, I know there is no way I could do this well on my own!
I also educate my children at home for their sake. Private Christian school appears to be too expensive. Even though the school system in our area is rather conservative, I know that in public school my children would pick up worldly values and information, and I also know as a single mom I wouldn't have time to be involved and to "debrief" to the degree needed to nurture their spirits. Homeschooling offers my kids the best education at the most affordable price. I believe it is also good for them to be together, as they develop an appetite for family and home that I pray they will carry into their lives as husbands and fathers. I have several generations of generational sin to address in my children's lives, so it is good that they are with me as I observe them and train them day after day. I also believe it is in their best interest to see that Mom is there for them. They already are dealing with so much loss, and what I give up to be home with them seems like so little when compared to what they would lose if I put them in school and went back to work outside the home.
Finally, I teach at home because it is good for me. I love to remind myself that as I homeschool my children, God is homeschooling me. I am learning to obey Him even when it doesn't make sense. I am learning to trust Him for so many things I can't provide for myself. I learn to turn to Him with needs that arise instead of turning to VISA or overtime. He is teaching me all of these things, in addition to the wonders of His dominion over the world that I see in the lessons I teach my children. God didn't just give my children to me so I could be used to shape them. He wanted to shape me by using them in my life. The homeschooling lifestyle gives us the opportunity to interact with each other and to sharpen each other for God's purposes in all our lives. I also benefit from a simpler life than I would have with three boys all in school, participating in different activities, and having more extensive social lives. I am already recovering spiritually, emotionally, and physically from the traumas in my life. Keeping things simple gives me much-needed time with God and allows me to minister to others from my experience.
It has helped me to put my goals and purposes for homeschooling in writing so that I can see them when I'm feeling discouraged. Homeschooling is not just an education choice; it affects every area of our lives. In every decision we make in life, there are benefits and expenses. Often when I am feeling burned out, I am spending time focusing on the cost of being home instead of the blessings of doing it this way. The best way to reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed is to look to God, who is never overwhelmed, and then to change my focus to why I homeschool and what its benefits are.
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