Tidings of Comfort and Joy
I love almost everything about Christmas. The Christmas spirit brings merriment to the home. Children young and old (and their parents) take a moment to dream dreams and play just a little more than usual.
I especially love the improbability of Christmas. The idea that our Savior could come to the world as a tiny baby in a manger seems nothing short of miraculous--which it was.
Lots of things in my own life are improbable (and miraculous) too. The Lord has taken me from heartache to a healthy marriage, from infertility to having a family of four, and from a career focus to being a stay-at-home mom.
When I feel overwhelmed by my blessings, I remind myself that God does improbable things. He took a simple sinner like me and blessed me extravagantly in ways that I would have deemed unimaginable. Who would have thought of that? My current life is certainly improbable, and I'm clearly inadequate to manage it all. But God is good.
That brings me tidings of great comfort and improbable joy. I wish you the same.
Merry Christmas to all in The Old Schoolhouse family!
Your editor,
Christine Field
Where's the Schoolroom?
By Barbara Frank
When people find out I teach my children at home, they always want to know if we have a schoolroom. Maybe they think having a schoolroom is necessary for learning, or perhaps they picture their own school years spent in a room with rows of desks and a utilitarian clock on the front wall. They often assume I've re-created that room somewhere in our house.
In reality, homeschooling has taken place in almost every part of our house. We began at our kitchen table. At that time my daughter was five and my son was four. We'd work at the kitchen table until lunchtime; then we'd put our books and supplies away in a plastic box and set the table for lunch. For a few years, it really was that simple.
Then we had more children. During my pregnancies, I would often be so nauseated or exhausted that it was all I could do to make it to the sofa, so that's where we had school. By the time child #3 arrived, the kitchen table wasn't working for us anymore. The kids tired of cleaning up their homeschooling messes in order to eat lunch. Sometimes they had a project they couldn't move or a craft that had to lay flat until it dried. So we graduated to a table set up in our rarely used living room. Once Baby became mobile, we put a playpen next to the table so she could play contentedly while we worked.
Her content did not last long. We moved to the dining room table, and put up a gate to keep her away from tempting items like markers and glue sticks. By now, the big kids were working at a level where they needed to concentrate, so it was better to keep their little sister away from their work area. At this point, we had also accumulated quite a few books, so we bought a wall's worth of bookshelves and put them in the dining room, too.
Child # 4 arrived, along with an apnea monitor to which he would remain tethered every day for over a year. This required a lot of my attention. (It seemed like his heart rate would slow down and set off the alarms whenever I was in the middle of explaining an algebra problem.) So the big kids often did their work alone in the dining room. Being kids, at some point they would begin annoying each other. This eventually got bad enough that Dad brought home an enormous piece of cardboard, which we used as a divider. Our children couldn't distract each other because they couldn't see each other. I tried to ignore the wads of paper that were sometimes shot over the barrier. (I can laugh at this now.)
As the younger two got older and noisier, the big kids began asking to do their schoolwork in their bedrooms. This seemed like a good idea, and sometimes it even worked out. But most of the time, they'd become distracted by their possessions and would not get their work done. So I usually made them work in the dining room, while I restricted the younger two to the family room, where I supplied them with special toys (reserved for school time) and Barney videotapes.
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Back at the kitchen table, I began working with #3 on her preschool workbooks. (She had requested her own schoolwork because she wanted to be like the big kids.) As for #4, much of his time was spent on the family room floor, where we practiced his physical therapy. On the days he had therapy appointments, our school was held in the therapy center's waiting room. All three older kids worked on their schoolwork there, while I watched our little guy and his therapist.
Eventually, we had big kids reading in their bedrooms, doing math in the dining room, making craft projects in the basement, and learning to cook in the kitchen. We had little people playing with clay on the patio, reading with me on a blanket under a backyard tree, and listening to math-fact tapes in the car. For our little guy, bath time was often spent teaching him how to pour water from cup to cup or practicing his speech sounds.
For many years, almost every room in our house was a schoolroom, proving that learning is not restricted to a single room with a row of desks and a clock on the front wall. Kids learn everywhere, and that's why homeschooling occurs all over the house. It also occurs beyond the house: in the car en route to activities or on vacation when we visit historic sites or museums. Far beyond our neck of the woods, there are families who homeschool on farms and ranches, or while traveling in foreign countries, or even in boats as they sail around the world. Ultimately, the question should not be "Where's the schoolroom?" but "Who needs a schoolroom?"
Copyright 2006 Barbara Frank
Barbara Frank is the mother of four homeschooled-from-birth children (ages 13-22), a freelance writer/editor, and the author of Life Prep for Homeschooled Teenagers and the new e-book The Imperfect Homeschooler's Guide to Homeschooling. To visit her website, "The Imperfect Homeschooler," go to www.cardamompublishers.com.
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Lifeway Homeschool Message Board
 As many of you know, Lifeway is associated with Broadman & Holman, publisher for Homeschool Methods by Paul and Gena Suarez and my own Homeschooling the Challenging Child. They have launched a message board just for homeschoolers, and I get to moderate it!
Come join the conversation! I'll see you there!
Answering God's Unexpected Call
By Jennifer Stahlmann
He leaned back in his big leather chair, crossed his legs, and closed the portfolio containing his observations of my precious son. Perhaps he says these words a dozen times a week. I'm told he's one of the most sought-after experts in the tri-state region, which can only mean that he has seen so many cases like ours and has made this diagnosis so many times that he can identify it with great accuracy. Perhaps the repetition of this experience made him forget that it was my boy sitting on the floor of his office that morning and that although those words were quite familiar to him, I had never heard them before. It's not that he was apathetic or unkind, just somewhat unaware of my fearful anticipation. Whatever the reason, he had an air of aloofness about him as he stretched his arms up, crossed his hands behind his head, and assumed a position of relaxation. His work was done. "Well," he said with a certain finality, "the diagnosis is clear. This is autism."
In a moment I felt as if an avalanche had been dumped on me, the weight of it crushing me and dulling all my senses. If it had lasted more than a moment, I would surely have been consumed by panic as I tried to claw my way through the swirling thoughts that filled my mind and clouded my ability to respond.
But it lasted only a fraction of a second because in that moment of devastation, God reached out with His amazing grace and poured it over me a like gentle waterfall, washing away the fear and the hurt and the desperation. In my own strength, left to my own thoughts, I would have surely crumbled, but in the power of God's grace I was suddenly bathed in peace. I breathed in His strength, leaned forward, and looked the doctor soberly in the eye. With great determination and focus, I said, "Okay, so now what?"
Months later, I attended a Women of Faith conference. Sheila Walsh told a story of the anguish she felt the night before a doctor appointment for her son when she was to learn whether or not he had leukemia. She recounted the experience of two different scenarios playing out in her mind--one filled with pain and horror, the other filled with relief and peace. Gratefully, her son received a good report. It wasn't leukemia; it was just anemia. As we all felt a vicarious sense of relief, she told of a time when she had shared this story at another conference. A woman approached her afterward and said she could relate so much to Sheila's story. She had gone through a similar experience, but for her child the report was not one of relief. Her child got the diagnosis they feared. Amazingly, this woman was not seeking Sheila out for encouragement that day; instead she went to be the encourager and said, "Whether you get the thing you prayed for or the thing you dread, God's grace is the same."
Yes! Before our doctor appointment we knew that autism was a possibility. The word conjured some scary images for us, and we desperately hoped that it wouldn't be so. But in the moment of truth, God's grace kept us from despair. As this realization began to take root in my heart I felt like David, crying out in praise and worship, "The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust." He protected me. Like a fortress, God shielded me from the thoughts of despair that I had feared before the appointment.
From that moment until today, nearly seven years later, I have walked with Him on the new path He laid before me in the doctor's office. It's been rocky and dark, even treacherous at times. But God has been a faithful encourager, and He has never let one moment of our sadness or fear or frustration be wasted. In His mercy, He has allowed me to see that He is using our son's disability for good in so many different ways. For one, He uses it daily to refine the character of the individuals in our family. He's also used it as an avenue for encouraging others and for witnessing.
In some ways, my son's disability placed an unexpected call on my life and caused me to turn my attention in a new direction. It was the start of a new journey. Although I hadn't planned this trip, God had planned it from the foundation of the earth, and it has taught me to trust Him in new ways.
When our children are first born, they hold so much promise and excitement and mystery, and it is tempting to imagine what kind of person each one will be one day. If a daughter takes an interest in music we say, "Maybe she'll be a great musician." When a son shows a fascination with the human body we think, "Maybe God has put a desire in his heart to pursue a career in medicine." As our babies babble and coo and toddle around, we imagine them speaking and growing and evolving into the people of our envisioning.
When our son Griffyn was diagnosed with autism, God showed me that I would need to let go of the boy I imagined my son to be and bury my ideas of what I thought he should be. Until I fully released my agenda into God's hands, I would not be able to receive all the blessings that God intended to bring through the special child He'd given me. And although God had guarded my heart and mind against despair, there was still a process that had to happen, a time of shifting and refocusing.
Isn't it amazing how God speaks to us all the time? As I was writing this morning, my daughter brought me a 3-D picture to see if I could find the image. I held it close to my nose and let my eyes relax. As I slowly pulled it away, the image became clear. In relaxing, even allowing my focus to blur for a time, my perspective was transformed. Once my focus shifted, I could clearly see a crisp image emerge from the page. What a great analogy God had given me! When we relax and allow Him to refocus the eyes of our hearts, a new image clearly emerges. Things may be confusing at first--even blurry--but soon the events and circumstances of our life don't seem so random. Instead of asking why, we begin to ask how. Instead of crying out to God for answers, we cry out to God for wisdom and direction.
During my season of refocusing, God gave me the following Scripture. "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds" (John 12:24). Once I let go of the child I thought I had, the one I'd created in my own imagination, I could open myself to so many new possibilities. God has so many riches in store for those who are willing let their own agendas die.
It's tempting sometimes to give my mind over to thoughts of the future. Will Griffyn ever marry? Will he live an independent adult life? Will he be able to be used by God? Will he ever comprehend spiritual things, understand his need for salvation, and give his life to Jesus? But I believe this line of thinking leads to a downward spiral. Romans 1:21 teaches of men who "became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened." I believe that giving my mind over to thoughts of Griffyn's future is a kind of vain imagination. There is no way for any of us to know what God will do. He may choose to allow Griffyn to remain autistic all his life, or He may deliver Griffyn completely from it. Perhaps God will do a work in Griffyn that is beyond anything I can think or imagine. Giving my mind over to vain imaginations is foolishness, and it leads to ungodly fear and anxiety, which darken the heart. So when those thoughts begin to rear up in my heart, I turn them over to God and put my trust in His plan.
Because we know that God is fully intentional in all that He allows to come into our lives, we can be certain that when He gave us a special child, He issued a calling. God has a great journey planned, full of harvest and blessing, for those who are willing to rise up in the spirit of Isaiah and answer, "Here I am! Send me! Here I am and the children whom the Lord has given me!"
Jenni Stahlmann
www.homeschoolblogger.com/inktraveler
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Share Your Ideas!
Your next newsletter will be shorter, slimmer, and savvier. (Just like me and my new year's resolutions!) We're trimming the size and maximizing the impact. Got a quick tip or idea to share?
We are looking for real parents to share their ideas for loving, living, and learning with their special learners. If you would be interested in submitting a paragraph telling an idea or gem you've encountered, contact me at christinefield@sbcglobal.net.
Thank you to all those who have sent their stories! Many have been blessed by your sharing.
About Your Editor
Christine Field practiced law for eight years before becoming a full-time Mommy. She and her husband live and homeschool their four children in Wheaton, Illinois, where her husband, Mark, serves as Chief of Police. Three of their four children are adopted, one through a private adoption and two from Korea.
She is the author of several books, including Coming Home to Raise Your Children (Fleming Revell, 1995), Should You Adopt? (Fleming Revell, 1997) A Field Guide to Home Schooling (Fleming Revell, 1998), Life Skills for Kids (Harold Shaw/WaterBrook, 2000), Help for the Harried Homeschooler (Harold Shaw/WaterBrook, 2002) and Homeschooling the Challenging Child (Broadman & Holman, 2005). Her next book, written with her husband Mark, called Homeschooling 101, will be published by Broadman & Holman in Spring 2007.
She serves as a correspondent and Resource Room columnist for The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine. Her articles on life skills have appeared in Focus on the Family Magazine and Single Parent Family.
To contact her about your special learner, or to have her speak to your group or conference, you may email her at mailto:christinefield@sbcglobal.net or visit her website at www.HomeFieldAdvantage.org.
Her mailing address is:
The Home Field Advantage
PO Box 261
Wheaton, IL 60189-0261
Visit her blog at www.HomeschoolBlogger.com/christinefield.
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